Life, the Universe, and Everything.

My birthday party was on Saturday! This is the first birthday party I've had since we lived in Tempe. We had a "Life, the Universe, and Everything" party and people seemed to enjoy the theme.

We started this one in the afternoon since some of my friends are older and might not last long at a late-night party. And it was a blast. We had 9 guests in all, everyone hit it off, it was just one of those parties that gels really well. When the first few people arrived we played Apples to Apples, but when more people arrived that fell off and everyone began conversing instead. I just love my friends. At one point my friend Alison turned to me and said "I love that everyone here is a nerd!" and I said "I know, right? There are 8 people in my living room talking about neuroscience! This is the life I've always dreamed of!" (And in so many ways, it is. I realized a few years ago that overall, I am the kind of person I wanted to grow up to be. It just took time to grow into this fabulous, femme-ish queer punk rock guy who gardens and makes art and has a lovely home and amazing friends. And while a life partner was not one of those things I dreamed of, I have a really good one in B.)

For food we had GF empanadas, guacamole, tortilla and potato chips, my friend H brought a surprise fruit salad, and I made vanilla-almond cupcakes with chocolate buttercream. We filled one of the sinks with ice and used it to chill beverages, which was a big hit (I love my enormous double sinks!)  People loved the house, my cupcakes blew their minds, the cats occasionally came out to charm the pants off of everyone.

It was a great birthday party. I am blessed in friendships <3

Balancing Boundaries with Kindness

Over the last couple of years, I have developed an unofficial, almost subconscious policy of not pursuing friendships with people when I don't like their partners. I didn't realize I had this policy until a new person (BL) showed up at S&B and brought her husband with her. He was extremely unpleasant, obnoxious even. And I knew then that I just don't want to ever again be in a position where a friend's spouse is horrible to me, or even just extremely unpleasant to be around, and I tolerate it because I love my friend. I don't ever again want to volunteer to interact with shitty or abusive people.

( How to nicely say don't tell me about your cancer )