Delayed emotional processing

[00goddess]

Was browsing reddit and saw in a post someone said "I grew up in a home where I wasn't allowed to show my emotions and anger, so my big problem is my very delayed emotional processing and response" HOLY SHIT

I wasn't allowed to express any emotions at home or in the group home. I had to gray rock everyone always. It was self-preservation: any vulnerability would be used against you. But anger of any kind would be punished. We weren't allowed to be anything but submissive and happy.

I am very slow to get angry. It sometimes takes me some time after the thing happens, to be angry about the thing. I am not slow to anxiety but I think I am probably slow to emotional response in general.

I hadn't connected it to my upbringing. Interesting.

Comments

[redheadfae]

Oof, I can relate! I'm so sorry you were brought up that way.
The only one allowed emotions, especially anger, in my family was my mum. She had FEELINGS about everything, talked about being "so sensitive" all the time, cried at the drop of a hat. I was not allowed the same freedom. Tears were to be swallowed, "I'll give you something to cry about!" and anger? Oh hell no. Even disagreement was met with strong resistance in mum's "because I said so" world.
Thank you for sharing that, and getting me to think about it, too.

[00goddess]

Ugh my mom was very similar. She is the sort who thinks that whatever she wants is ok, even if the same thing isn't ok for someone else.

I wasn't allowed to be angry and if I cried she would lose her shit and beat me up. Crying enraged her.

I'm sorry that happened to you.

[redheadfae]

I feel for you, too. Hugs, luv.